As your senior grows older, you may find that she needs more and more of your help. You may be perfectly happy to do whatever you can for her as her caregiver, but that doesn’t mean that she’ll be happy to receive that help.
Her Life Is Changing
While you might think that your senior doesn’t realize how much she needs your assistance, you might be surprised. She knows that her life is changing and it’s possible that she’s doing everything that she can to resist those changes. There may be a period of time in which your senior is mourning her old life and is still adjusting to her new one.
She’s Not Used to Asking for Help
Many people, and this may include your aging adult, go through their lives being fiercely independent. If that describes your senior, you might need to reflect on this idea for a moment. Asking for help or even receiving help that’s offered can take some time. It’s possible you might need to back off and give her that time.
Your Approach Doesn’t Help
You might think that there’s nothing wrong with your approach but it’s really easy for you to inadvertently bulldoze your senior and what she wants. If you’re not treading carefully, it’s possible that you’re stomping all over your elderly family member’s feelings. That can be enough to cause someone to turn down the help you might want to offer.
You’re Not Including Her in Decisions
Taking over everything is a surefire way to irritate your aging adult. When there are decisions to be made, be sure to include her in them as much as you can. Most of the decisions you’re making affect her life directly, so it makes sense to include her. For example, when you’re ready to hire elder care providers, ask your senior how she feels about the idea and involve her in the selection process.
She May Not Ever Be Happy About It
The reality of the situation is that you can do everything right and your senior may still never, ever be happy that she needs your help. She may be just that stubborn or she may simply be so focused on maintaining her independence that help makes her cringe. Whatever her reasons are, try to talk with her about how you can make the situation better for her.
Offering help and receiving it can be difficult for everyone, you included. Stop and think about what you know about your aging adult and how you would want this type of situation handled for you if it were reversed.